Monday, May 3, 2010

Henry Alfonso Orellana May 3 at 4:43pm
so ive been thinking about this the last couple of days and i dont think that this will work out.

i cant pretend, but i cant give you what you want. there is just a lot of bullshit going on right now and ive never been selfish with myself. and i think its time that i start being selfish a little. at the end of the day no one is gonna look out after you except for yourself. me getting into anything with anyone at this point would just be foolish. im in the beginning of school and concentrating on anyone but myself right now would end uyp fucking me over in the end and i would not be able to accomplish as many things as i would like to. its nothing to do with you but i just feel like i would never be able to give you the shit u would want from me. i just wouldnt feel like it was mine or urs to give. im sorry, i know this might hurt. but trust me...u are better off with someone else.

im a lot of shit to deal with. and at the end of it all....i would end up burning a hole through ur hands.

we could still be friends. thats fine with me. but i cant see myself pursuing anything more with anyone right now.

Mikel Monroe May 3 at 5:03pm
I knew this was coming or had it in mind. I really don't know why you waited so long for this message, when you could've told me this right off the bat when we said good bye. I mean, its not like you didn't think of this then as much as you did when writing this message. There are so many layers to you, and I don't think you know them well. I really don't think school and work are acceptable excuses, but I'll accept them either way. Concentrating on yourself would be a great idea, and I'll support you to the fullest, because I do think you need time to yourself; however, I believe that that will not be happening anytime soon. You're very easy to read, and you have so many demons and doubts and desires within you, and I guessed many of them, just as much as you exposed them yourself. You might say I don't know you well, but you're really an open book finding its way to conceal itself. But anyway, I believe in you, I admire you to an extent, and I know you can do better if you knew which road to take. I had a great time with you, I won't lie, at least from what I remember. No hate on my side, just love. I'll always like you and have a slight crush on you, no doubt about that. They say all good things come to an end, well I believe this is one of them. I really do hope you find what it is you're looking for, and that you achieve whatever it is you're going for. I'm sure we'll run into each other in the near future, but until then I wish you the best and I hope you do the same for me.

One thing I want to make clear. Whatever I said, did, or made you feel at one point was meaningful, honest, and it came from the deepest depth of me. So I hope you don't take that for granted, because things like those are hard to come across by. Somewhere in my journey, I'll always think of you.

Good bye

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