Hay dias en cuales quisiera gritar hasta sangrar. Pero no puedo, no puedo, solo porque necesito la voz para decirte cuanto te quiero. Eres el primer pensamiento al amanecer, y el ultimo recuerdo al anochecer.

Its so hard to turn these memories into something helpful, something that will help me, because those were the most beautiful words I've ever heard, and the most false I ever believed in.

Someone once told me that "Happiness is a journey, not a destination." From that moment on I stopped searching for what happiness consisted of, and started living life as I should, from every deep breath to every movement of my naked eye. Albert Camus once said, "You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life."

I have a way with words, I'm not gonna lie; however, my best attribute is that one feeling you can't define when you're next to me.

I like to dirty talk. I like to be obscene. I make the boys honk, I like to steal the scene.

Henry Alfonso Orellana May 3 at 4:43pm
so ive been thinking about this the last couple of days and i dont think that this will work out.

i cant pretend, but i cant give you what you want. there is just a lot of bullshit going on right now and ive never been selfish with myself. and i think its time that i start being selfish a little. at the end of the day no one is gonna look out after you except for yourself. me getting into anything with anyone at this point would just be foolish. im in the beginning of school and concentrating on anyone but myself right now would end uyp fucking me over in the end and i would not be able to accomplish as many things as i would like to. its nothing to do with you but i just feel like i would never be able to give you the shit u would want from me. i just wouldnt feel like it was mine or urs to give. im sorry, i know this might hurt. but trust me...u are better off with someone else.

im a lot of shit to deal with. and at the end of it all....i would end up burning a hole through ur hands.

we could still be friends. thats fine with me. but i cant see myself pursuing anything more with anyone right now.

Mikel Monroe May 3 at 5:03pm
I knew this was coming or had it in mind. I really don't know why you waited so long for this message, when you could've told me this right off the bat when we said good bye. I mean, its not like you didn't think of this then as much as you did when writing this message. There are so many layers to you, and I don't think you know them well. I really don't think school and work are acceptable excuses, but I'll accept them either way. Concentrating on yourself would be a great idea, and I'll support you to the fullest, because I do think you need time to yourself; however, I believe that that will not be happening anytime soon. You're very easy to read, and you have so many demons and doubts and desires within you, and I guessed many of them, just as much as you exposed them yourself. You might say I don't know you well, but you're really an open book finding its way to conceal itself. But anyway, I believe in you, I admire you to an extent, and I know you can do better if you knew which road to take. I had a great time with you, I won't lie, at least from what I remember. No hate on my side, just love. I'll always like you and have a slight crush on you, no doubt about that. They say all good things come to an end, well I believe this is one of them. I really do hope you find what it is you're looking for, and that you achieve whatever it is you're going for. I'm sure we'll run into each other in the near future, but until then I wish you the best and I hope you do the same for me.

One thing I want to make clear. Whatever I said, did, or made you feel at one point was meaningful, honest, and it came from the deepest depth of me. So I hope you don't take that for granted, because things like those are hard to come across by. Somewhere in my journey, I'll always think of you.

Good bye

Como callejones sin salidas, me encuetro al final y con muchas dudas. Trato de respirar pero siento que se me va la vida. Miro hacia el cielo y solo veo esperanzas deprimidas. No tengo adonde ir ni por donde salir, quisiera que este tormento me dejara vivir.

El dudar es el peor enemigo de un hombre. Las palabras vienen y van, pero cuando hay esfuerzo y sentimiento todo se convierte en un tormento. Por ahora son recuerdos y por mañana solo reecuentros. Quisiera no ser tomado por concedido. Pero las 48 horas despues del encuentro son las mas cruciales en saber si todo fue cierto. El corazon se me abrio un dia anterior, pero el tic toc apenas empezo. Si se trata de creer en esperanzas, entonces espero en obtener a lo que mas quiero.

We wasted time trying to save ourselves. We hoped for more but our souls couldnt hold. Each one on their own, there just wasnt trust no more. We parted ways and lost it all.

Oh, soulmate where are you? I've been longing for our encounter for far too long

...Y los vientos recorridos del desierto se encajaban en mi piel, un poro tras el otro, secandola por completo. Y mis ojos llorosos derrotaban lagrimas saladas, y resecaban mis labios al caer.

Sometimes I just want to disappear, but I know I can't: I've yet to experience the brighter side of my life.

Dear Sir,

I've been a consistent devotee of yours and I have not failed you. Throughout the years I have admired your work, played in your field, and even tried to imitate you. As a quarter of a century approaches my age, I now plead you to return my soul as compensation for my wild acts and fearless past. There will be no greater follower as myself, and there will be no greater master as you Sir; however, as time goes by and my mind becomes more wise, my feelings become intact. So as a last request, I'd like my soul back please. Mankind awaits me in open arms on the other side of the road.

In regards from,

Your one & only.

Truth is I miss all my friends. I have faded.

Sometimes I miss you more than ever, and I think about the things we once told each other and the things we never got to say.

For the last year and a half something in my conscience has prevented me to fall asleep before knocking on wood for the dreadful thoughts that may come to mind. I am not certain of what lead to this uncomfortable bad habit, but I must knock on wood before falling asleep. Every other day before falling asleep or waking up in the morning a bad thought comes to mind that something might happen to my immediate family whilst out on the streets. Something like an accident or a farewell with no polite good bye. Every morning when I wake up to my mothers alarm and before she leaves I pray and hope that nothing bad happens to her while on her way to work. Every morning when my sister leaves I pray and hope that nothing bad happens to her as well. Its something within me that does not let me rest, because I'm in fear that some tragedy might occur, and that if I dont knock on wood it would be my fault. It is very agonizing to say the least, and it has impaired my sleep and intervened with my daily thoughts. I need to learn to somehow overcome this fear that one day I might lose them in some sort of tragedy, God forbids such thing, but I know that I am not one to prevent such events.

I feel so lonely when its dark. I want more in life, but I cant seem to figure it out. Help me, because I feel like breaking apart.

I feel most lonely when the birds are sleeping. I feel more awake at night, when the cool breeze touches my heart. I've only had one true friend: The Moon, who has kept in touch all this time.

I feel most lonely when the birds are sleeping. I feel more awake at night, when the cool breeze touches my heart. I've only had one true friend: The Moon, who has kept in touch all this time. At night, I feel more in touch, and when I close my eyes I feel you deep inside. When I open my eyes I come back to reality. Everything is so dark, everything is so cold. Your words fade away and my dreams seem to never end. Sometimes I wish and sometimes I hope, but only fools hold on to those two. Only I keep myself awake at night, because dreams seem to be the only thing I have. I am a dreamer with no hope, I am hopeful with no real dreams.